Anyone with me? Am I totes off base?

You are certainly not; the tools provided right now are indeed technical. However, you have to keep it in mind, that none of the specifications are finalised in any form - only webmentions are in W3C recommendation stage. As it has been pointed out, my wording and knowledge was off: recommendation is the final, released stage, so I fixed it.

The vast majority of users aren’t going to read the spec., nor care to ever do so. [...] This should be our (the IndieWeb’s) holy mission — empowering all sorts of folks to post content that they get to control.

This is where we disagree. There are other, interesting movements, two of them with very similar goals: Repair Café and Restart Party. As the name suggests, it's about repairing things, instead of throwing them away, but both of them share the ideology of teaching people to fix their own things; to learn about their tools, to value, to own them.

Owning the content is the first step, but it shouldn't be the only step. I wholeheartedly disagree with WordPress' attitude, making people avoid technical responsibility1 - people should care, they should be at least be aware of what's happening when they press a publish button. They needn't have to be capable of doing it from scratch, but providing the tools only is not a goal I can align with.

If we keep up the attitude of making everything so simple that people don't have to understand, we'll very soon find ourselves in the chapter of The Foundation, where the priests keep running technology, without anyone understanding it.